Reader's Digest Update

Something thats been really bothering me is that whole Mike Vick reality show he's getting. It SERIOUSLY is another technical foul within the black community. WHY does this man deserve his own show???? He was ARRESTED!!!! B.E.T. wth are you thinking??!?! Every nigga that gets locked up isnt Nelson Mandella!!! Mike was WRONG! He was caught an actually shouldve spent more time locked up, an then to get out an get offered a reality show is like a smack in the face. Now every modern day CRIMINAL, because thats what he is, every CRIMINAL will think that the crime was small time. It's a BIG deal!!! Dogs, cats, lizards, they have every right that humans do. I say it loud an i say it proud FUCK MIKE VICK. Im not saying this because im 'playing' big and hard because i am behind a computer screen...ooooh no! Let him step foot anywhere near me an you will hear me share my thoughts with him no different then i am sharing with you. Dogs are sweet loving creatures and are TURNED hateful, just like people are. I would rather lose a limb than to treat my dogs like that damn fool did...Do you all know what goes into dog fighting??? Lemme help clear some things up.

Dogs (usually pit bulls), are fed raw meat, attached to tread mills an forced to run, get steroid injections and get beat, they are placed in a pit to fight other trained dogs that spectators take bets on. The dogs fight til the death which results in one dog being killed, sometimes the losing dog will get shot point blank and even the winning dog can get so injured that it may die from injuried too. WHAT KIND OF SANE PERSON WOULD BE OKAY WITH THAT KIND OF TREATMENT?!??! A fuckin moron! I am sooo passionate about animal rights!!! It tears me up inside to know that this exists. Lets all show our support that we are AGAINST dogfighting!!!

Tootles xoxo

one day...

One day ill fly away
leave all this to yesterday
what more can your love do for me?
when will love be through with me?
why live life from dream to dream?
and back where im still dreaming....?

I want to fly away from my gross fat on my body
its disguisting.
i cant even wear a dress to work an feel comfortable with myself.
i want to be sooo thin that i lose my period...
is that too much to ask?
an i dont know hway i get so frustrated with the world...
its my own fault.
im not strong enough to say no to food
im not strong enough to stick a finger down my throat when i need to
dont question my determination
i wanna be skinny more than anything
an its not that i need the motivation
im not an ugly girl an i cant get one guy to like me for me
nobody wants to be fat an lonely all their lives...
especially not me
i know my prince charming is out there....maybe he's just waitin on a skinnier damsel in distress
no prince can carry a lard ass from a castle.....its just doenst look good....
i need to be this hard on myself....
postin thinspo to help my shitty mood...
Goodnight! xoxoxo E

Dear Santa....

Lately I havent had much of an appetite. I love it!

The guy that i spoke of in the last post, its over, his girl started stalking me an it was way too stressful an i had to tell them both off. Now I'm feeling two other guys. Geez...i wish it could all be easier...

Christmas is coming an im terribly sad that i dont have enough money to give my little angel off the angel tree a bright christmas...i dont even have enough to give my siblings anything. I might have to go back to doing things that im not too proud of to make money but only for the holidays of course....nothin ILLEGAL! I do want to ask Santa for one thing this christmas...to be skinny. Im detremined more than anything to lose weight...after seeing all the pics from Nutcracker i felt i look absolutely disguisting....ill post a pic but its gross.....I NEED to lose this weight. I want people to ask "hey have you lost weight" i would love to hear "Do you eat? Youre getting too thin" but i know thatll take some time......I want to fall in love an find someone to truly love me but i need to love myself before i can begin to expect someone else to love me so that is my christmas wish.......Happy Holidays everyone! Talk to you all soon!! :)

bah humbug!

Its been forever since ive been on...im sorry for that. Ive been workin soo hard to get into a school an TAH DAH! its paid off! Ill be attending a university next spring semester! Im excited, im half way there an its time for me to crack my own whip an get outta town an start my own life far away from here. To touch bases from my last post, I havent gotten a tattoo because i simply have to wait until i am done dancing in the nutcracker. My lip is not peirced because i have a new job an its not the kinda place that welcomes peircings. I'm still a hopeless romantic waiting for my prince charmin, im done with both guys i was speakin of but i did happen to relight an old flame. Of course there is always a down fall when somethin good happens to me...he's taken. I spent the most romantic evening with him and he's taken. Im not goin to be his chick on the side or share him so he's gotta choose...me or her. I havent spoken to him since before the holiday no really by choice but honestly because idk how to confront him on th sibject matter. My ex says i should just give up on the search but i wanna meet my prince half way dont i? Anyways, ive fallen off task with the dieting. I start the ABC diet tomorrow, cross your fingers.

im so stuffed i could vomit cotton!

so i want a tattoo darling....what should i get? I want somethin sweet written in cursive...but my torso is sooo short it wont look as good but the small quotes that ive come across are:

"alis volat piopiis" - she flies by her own wings

Annnnd since im named after a bird i think it fits....with a pic of a bird! I also want my lip peirced!

This is sooo jumbled, i wanted to blog about bein sooo love sick. I want love to happen so bad, an i know its nothin i can rush, i met a guy an he likes me an he calls me his girl but i like a guy in another state an we text an talk nonstop an he too calls me his girl but were hours apart...so idk what to do. And as everyone knows im still madly in love with an ex that isnt feeling the same way. Its been three years so dont tell me to just let go because ive been trying! Its soooo hard an im just a big pooey mess........ughh. Im goin to dinner an a movie with the first guy i mentioned, but no doubt ill be texting the second one while im with him an of course thinking about my ex. Complicated this is...Tootles! Sweet dreams...

when the stars go bllllllluuuuuueeeee...

I dont have anything to say really...i just wanna express some thoughts :)

I love the song 'When the stars go Blue'

Dancin when the stars go blue
dancin when the evening fell

dancin in your wooden shoes

in a weddin gown...
Dancin out on 7th street
dancin through the underground

dancin with the marionette

are you happy now...?

I love that song! I try to sing it all the time, even though im no good at singing.

Im sitting in front of the heater right now...it feels gooooood :)

i hope everyone is having abrilliant day! I am!

I hope everyone enjoyed this post.

I hope it warmed your day an made you smile...it made me smile.

Tootles! <3

fuuuuuuuuudge....

not much to say.....
ive been fasting for two days an i fucked up today
im pissed at myself
long story short... i ate:


The guy im talking to doesnt understand the way i feel when i freak out over food and eating so weve been:



I just wanna be: