You've stumbled upon the page where i keep my most prized possessions. My thoughts, do be mindful that they are my own thoughts and opinions and if you dont like what i think or feel you can simply find another blog to read. Be open mided and respectful, thanks! xoxo

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Asher Roth

Asher Roth <3

Friday, February 10, 2012

Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong?

Why is my Mr. Right my Mr. Wrong?
Am i crazy blinded and some how absolutely smittenn with him that i can not see he is wrong for me?

Monday, August 15, 2011


Needless to say my life is one long, humiliating fml story...ya know? the ones you see on that sight where people post their complete misfortune for our enjoyment and ever so often you even have to respond to one like; "Damn, im glad im not you"...i never get that luxury because well as i said, my entire life is an fml post. One day i hope to die and leave this my memoir and you all can just search for it on the fml site...sad but true.
It had come to my conclusion after 21 years, that i am not only a prisoner within this damn household but within this family. I love my family to bits! Would cut my own heart out if either of my siblings needed it to live...but im begining to noticed that if i start to have an ounce of life outside of this family, or i find myself living outside the realms of my "perfect", "happy" family i begin to see a new side of dawn....sidetrack w me for a minute. Remember that Queen of the Damned movie that came out sometime in the 90s? At that one second when the vampire approaches Aaliyah in that freaky club joint, shes real seductive and sexy but when she rips his heart out and eats it...freeze your tv...thats the sudden change i feel in the house, and not necessarily within the house but within my mom....i dont get it.
I used to party party party and club club club in between the parties but i kinda did it so much it became so played out that now i find fun times by seeing a movie, dinner w a gladd of wine or 2 or simply just going somewhere to talk tiol they close and i HAVE to return home....and yet i still get treated like im doing crack, selling my body, raping and kidnapping people...its just like uhhh mom wth!
Im starting to think that she believesx i should be miserable and single for my life just as she is...which isnt going to happen. I love LOVE way too much to turn into her, but i would love it if she gave me a chance to find love and enjoy it.
i cant describe it, but its been a great chance to vent. Suggestions would be helpful. Stay tuned for part 2: The Boy.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Is it too late to do some spring cleaning?

So i was just thinking and goin over some things in my blog and its so depressing. Granted i was goin through some things in my life but now im feeling just has pink as the layout so shoo fly bad, mea, sad, an hurtful posts from my past. Today will be somethin a lil better an fresher than the last...kinda like a house after spring cleaning and some fine tuning on an old car!

Just returned from the indoor/outdoor water park in Sevierville TN known as the "Wilderness in the smokies" so much fun! My rating is 5/5 stars! The rooms were remarkable! The staff were all extremely eager to answer any and all questions and offered assistance if necessary! I never felt the need to leave the hotel everything was just that damn good! I can wait to return! Hopefully soon too! Supposed to be taking a day trip to Huntsville soon for the space place there...its more so for my siblings and mom but ive never been to Huntsville so why not go for a getaway right? Ill just drop em off an seek out the nearest mall and do some sight seeing...that does sound rather appealing!!!!

oops...hold on...the dog has to pee...........

BACK! I finally got new glasses! hooray! now i can officially see in the dark at night while im driving. I have a little bit of a challenge seeing the lines on the road at night an the cars lights that shine behind my car are also a bit distracting but my new glasses fix the seeing the road issue and are also glare-free so itll be easier to see while bright lights are shining in from other cars. yayy for solutions!

My birthday is coming up. Im not askin for the world but id love to get a tattoo that my fam can know about and be accepted....its like tryin to convince the pope to do drugs. Some battles cannot be one but ill die tryin...lol

Going to get my hair chocolate brown again, pumped about, every girl looks good dipped in chocolate :) and on that note, i leave you. Enjoy your day!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

WTH nothing since APRIL 1ST!

I cant believe its been this long since ive posted. Readers Digest version of whats been happening in my life is basically, my shit-hole house is still under construction...going on 5 months now. The guys are lazy an never at the house working when i stop by to check on progress. So were all staying at The Hell Inn also known as my grandparents where i sleep on a sofa because theyre arent enough bedrooms for the lot of us. Our three dogs get confined to two rooms because my dog is a lab and my grandparents are OCD. Uhh everything of mine is in storage exceppt all my shoes an about a months worth of clothes that i were over and over again....with my birthday comin up i will scream if i have to wear another damn outfit that ive been wearin for my frickin birthday!
On a better note i got a new car...an by new i mean to replace my baby that was totaled from some ghetto bitch. I hated living without a dependent ride of my own for 5months but i really got screwed on the whole thing...peep it: OLD CAR 200 dollar car note, 86k mileage, 2005. NEW CAR 250 dollar car note, 120k mileage, 2001, check engine light came onb week later, two fuses have already been replaced, i have to purchase 4 new tires asap because its terrible driving in the rain...hydroplane city. freelin screwed? I AM! An the bitch that hit me hasnt contributed a damn dime...
My love life is just a downward spiral of tragedy, forbidden love, fights,and maybe one day soon ill have to drink Juliet's poison because this is maddness. I love him,i really do, but am i supposed to? I just want to know the right decisions before i make em...haha is that too much to ask? Just maybe a sneak peek at the answer key before taking the test for life...
Schools gettin crazy...i do fear that everyones expecting a graduation soon but i really dont have the heart to tel them that i dont think itll be happening this year...theyll be so dissappointed to hear that i may need just one more year...an askin for that from them is a BIG deal. But nobody knows how hard it is...ill be the first college graduate in my family. Thats three generations! the pressure is on, yes but its a lot on my plate as well...i think im done ranting and whining.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I think of you on 2 occassions...

Thats when i want it...and thats when i need it...

Like Ive Never Been Hurt Before....

Im gonna love you like ive never been hurt before

Im gonna love you like im indestructible....

I just need love. Ill never lie an say i havent been hurt. Ive been hurt by my father who was never there, ive been hurt by my mother who is incapable of saying the three words that kids NEED to hear; "I love you". Ive been hurt by boys and even by myself...but no more. Im begining to realize that im worth the same respect i give out

Im tired of being a doormat. Im tired of bein used and givin 100% to people that shutter when i ask for 10% in return. Just like this car incident. I was in a wreck in December...i still have no car. And gettin rides is like pullin teeth!!! Not to mention when i had a car, i never left town with it but my grandparents took it several weekends on triops leaving me at home. When my moms car was in the shop, i let her drive mine around and i was the one gettin picked up an dropped off...so why is that nobody can get on the call to help me find a car?

I am a child of love. I believe in dreams coming true, in fairytales, in happy endings, and in prince charmings, call me naive if youd like but its all i have to hold on to at night. The dream that myh prince charming is battling dfragons to get to me an i ownt disappoint him, im waiting for him. And when he gets here, nothin else in the world will matter but the two of us. I need him to fill all my senses. I want to feel his arms around me, smell him against me, hear his "i love you's", see his smile at me,and taste his kiss.
That sounds lovely doesnt it?