fml

Part 1:FAMILY
Needless to say my life is one long, humiliating fml story...ya know? the ones you see on that sight where people post their complete misfortune for our enjoyment and ever so often you even have to respond to one like; "Damn, im glad im not you"...i never get that luxury because well as i said, my entire life is an fml post. One day i hope to die and leave this my memoir and you all can just search for it on the fml site...sad but true.
It had come to my conclusion after 21 years, that i am not only a prisoner within this damn household but within this family. I love my family to bits! Would cut my own heart out if either of my siblings needed it to live...but im begining to noticed that if i start to have an ounce of life outside of this family, or i find myself living outside the realms of my "perfect", "happy" family i begin to see a new side of dawn....sidetrack w me for a minute. Remember that Queen of the Damned movie that came out sometime in the 90s? At that one second when the vampire approaches Aaliyah in that freaky club joint, shes real seductive and sexy but when she rips his heart out and eats it...freeze your tv...thats the sudden change i feel in the house, and not necessarily within the house but within my mom....i dont get it.
I used to party party party and club club club in between the parties but i kinda did it so much it became so played out that now i find fun times by seeing a movie, dinner w a gladd of wine or 2 or simply just going somewhere to talk tiol they close and i HAVE to return home....and yet i still get treated like im doing crack, selling my body, raping and kidnapping people...its just like uhhh mom wth!
Im starting to think that she believesx i should be miserable and single for my life just as she is...which isnt going to happen. I love LOVE way too much to turn into her, but i would love it if she gave me a chance to find love and enjoy it.
i cant describe it, but its been a great chance to vent. Suggestions would be helpful. Stay tuned for part 2: The Boy.